"Manual" Transmissions

"functionoverfashion" (functionoverfashion) 11/09/2016 at 11:44 • Filed to: rants, save the manuals

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I have a bone to pick with online auto sales websites. If you’re going to offer the option to search by transmission type then for the love of Chris Farley don’t allow automatics to be listed as manuals when they have a tip-tronic or some other BS option. DSG? Maybe. But a regular old PRNDL with a side-stepping quasi-manual gear selector that no one probably ever uses anyway? THIS IS NOT A MANUAL.

OK so maybe it’s not Autotrader’s fault. And sometimes these internet sales guys just don’t really care, they want views. So put in some generic ad copy about the model, one sentence about this specific one, and check off all the boxes, manual, whatever. Throw in a CYA disclaimer that ‘some information may be inaccurate’ and call it a day. That’s what most of the 17 “manual” 2007 BMW X3s look like on Autotrader right now. Of which maybe four actually have 3 pedals.

At least this led me to some great ‘used car ad copy’ lines. My favorite includes some amazing BS and questionable analysis that I just have to share, with my comments and emphasis included:

A BMW with as few miles as this one is a rare find. [86,000?] ...non-stop traction for your non-stop lifestyle ! ... In addition to the amazing traction control, you may even qualify for an insurance reduction with this AWD vehicle. [what? why?] ... A true feat of engineering , this BMW X3 3.0si has otherworldly acceleration, [on par with a modern Honda civic at about 15 lb/hp, so... otherworldly? umm.] prodigious [read: average] power and is accompanied by the prestigious reputation of BMW. Although it may not make much sense , [?!?! LOL] this vehicle will undoubtedly provide a memorable experience every time you drive it. [whatever that may be] *link to full ad here

But let’s talk about the worst offender I found today. It’s so bad I want to report it as fraudulent. The first line in the ad says, “6 speed manual!” the exclamation point further reinforcing the fact that whoever wrote the ad was clearly aware of the manual X3's rarity, and hey, we’ve got one right here! Nope, you don’t. I do. Well, my wife does I guess. It has a shifter in the middle that allows you to select between any of 6 forward gears at any time and in any order and requires the use of an extra pedal that this car doesn’t have, namely the clutch. Come on, bro. Not cool.

Lastly, let’s talk about the last line in the ad for this “6 speed manual” that will “...take you where you need to go... all you have to do is steer!” Because you certainly DON’T have to shift.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > functionoverfashion 11/09/2016 at 11:50

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It seems like this is a perennial post. It’s been covered before (obviously you did a fantastic job here, so not a complaint), but it keeps happening. On and on and on.

Also: “ this vehicle will undoubtedly provide a memorable experience every time you drive it. ” => This car induces Alzheimers?

BLCKSTRM > functionoverfashion 11/09/2016 at 11:56

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I report every listing I come across with an auto listed as a manual as either a bait and switch or as dishonest (you can only report “bait and switch” for dealer accounts).

I have zero patience for that shit.

If I honestly didn’t care I wouldn’t have clicked the box.

When I get really angry I call them and tie up their salespeople while I drive home from work. And then I always make sure they know why I did it and I tell them to fix their shit.

Absolutely infuriating.

Tekamul > functionoverfashion 11/09/2016 at 12:10

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Maybe they should go the numeric route instead, so salesmen/online managers have a more cut and dry delineation.

Number of pedals :

2 

3 

functionoverfashion > Tekamul 11/09/2016 at 12:12

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More stars!!

functionoverfashion > BLCKSTRM 11/09/2016 at 12:12

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I’m in just the right mood to make an angry phone call to a stranger...

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > functionoverfashion 11/09/2016 at 12:27

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So guess what my new job I started a few months ago is?

Making disclaimers for automotive advertising and calling out what they’re saying/showing is incorrect (if need be).

So let’s have some fun.

A BMW with as few miles as this one is a rare find. [86,000?] ...non-stop traction for your non-stop lifestyle ! ... In addition to the amazing traction control, you may even qualify for an insurance reduction with this AWD vehicle. [what? why?] ... A true feat of engineering , this BMW X3 3.0si has otherworldly acceleration, [on par with a modern Honda civic at about 15 lb/hp, so... otherworldly? umm.] prodigious [read: average] power and is accompanied by the prestigious reputation of BMW. Although it may not make much sense , [?!?! LOL] this vehicle will undoubtedly provide a memorable experience every time you drive it. [whatever that may be] *link to full ad here

The only thing that would be a legal question would be the claim of potentially cheaper insurance. If they found just ONE insurance company that gives a discount for AWD vs 2 wheel drive they’re good, typically it’s best to include a disclaimer that says something like “X Insurance Company offers a discount as of 11/9/2016, discount may vary and may not be applicable, check with your insurance provider for details.” The rest is just marketing BS which the consumer is expected to read through. We refer to it as “fluff”. Annoying - but not illegal lol.

Obviously I would’ve stopped the manual issue before it went out.

Saracen > functionoverfashion 11/09/2016 at 12:27

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I agree. That practice really pisses me off.

And any transmission that only has two pedals should be listed as automatic, regardless of how it works or the presence of flappy paddles.

functionoverfashion > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 11/09/2016 at 12:44

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Oh yeah, the “fluff” as you call it, is hilarious at best and annoying at worst. The only thing it tells me is that the place is probably more concerned with persuasion based on emotion than actually just selling a good car. It’s like, don’t tell me the benefit, just tell me the feature and I’ll decide for myself what the benefit might be to me. But then, I was a psychology major and I generally don’t believe any marketing BS. And by the time I’m searching for a car, I’ve done the research and just want the best example of the specific make/model that I’ve decided I want.

Interesting new job by the way, haha. And highly relevant!

deekster_caddy > Tekamul 11/09/2016 at 12:51

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Uh oh

(link in case Kinja’d http://www.autoguide.com/manufacturer/dodge/12-important-things-about-the-2015-dodge-challenger-scat-pack-shaker )

Tekamul > deekster_caddy 11/09/2016 at 12:53

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Huh, I never realized the challenger was a pickup truck

functionoverfashion > Saracen 11/09/2016 at 12:54

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Hence your username... hahaha. And yes I agree, 3 pedals or it’s auto. 

BLCKSTRM > functionoverfashion 11/09/2016 at 12:55

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No - be nice!

You can’t get angry until the very end.

Otherwise you won’t waste enough of their time!

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > functionoverfashion 11/09/2016 at 12:57

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Imagine how I feel looking at ads? lol I see a car commercial I start listing disclaimers for it and what trim levels are shown in what color and whether that feature should even be displayed.

The new job is awesome. It basically lets me sit around and research cars all day. I was going to do that anyhow- might as well get paid for it right?

Wacko > Tekamul 11/09/2016 at 12:59

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so technically speaking then my CVT pathfinder is a 3 pedal car/CUV....

BLCKSTRM > functionoverfashion 11/09/2016 at 13:03

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I’ve got it! We should lobby AutoTrader to put in a check box for a clutch pedal!

That would solve this once and for all!

Tekamul > Wacko 11/09/2016 at 13:13

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Whatever lets you sleep at night

functionoverfashion > BLCKSTRM 11/09/2016 at 13:24

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haha, yes, you’re right.

Hello, I’m interested in a car I see listed? Mmmhmm, and I see it has the following features... [10 minutes later] ... yes I can see how high-beam headlights will absolutely change my life, thank you for explaining that to me! And I can’t wait to try out that independent rear suspension. Was there anything else? Oh yes, it says here the car has a manual transmission - silly me, I almost forgot to ask. So it’s a manual?.... 

functionoverfashion > BLCKSTRM 11/09/2016 at 13:26

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Someone else suggested having to select the number of pedals

) 2 pedals

) 3 pedals

But then, some idiot would call the dead pedal a ‘third pedal’ anyway probably...

BLCKSTRM > functionoverfashion 11/09/2016 at 13:58

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LOL - I hadn’t thought of that.

How about just selecting “Clutch Pedal?”

That’s pretty hard to defend. (Well, maybe not for Bill. You know, depends on what the definition of “is” is. Kind of a bad day for that joke I guess...)

ateamfan42 > functionoverfashion 11/10/2016 at 11:01

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Oh yes, it says here the car has a manual transmission - silly me, I almost forgot to ask. So it’s a manual?....

But then they’ll just lie and say it is a manual. Only when you show up for the test drive will you find out the truth. Ask me how I know.

BLCKSTRM > ateamfan42 11/10/2016 at 11:08

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Given our conceit, at this point you’re just wasting their time - you can usually tell on the instrument cluster even if they don’t include a shot of the shifter itself.

All the better if they keep calling you to try to sell you something later. Just wasting their time...

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > functionoverfashion 11/12/2016 at 09:19

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This is one thing that Carmax gets correct in their listings 99% of the time. It seems that in the last few years Carmax premium versus traditional dealers and private sales has gotten worse. But you can at least count on their ads being accurate with features/options and having lots of photos.